He Says He Was Just Messing Around, But He Hurt Me

Published: October 08, 2014
Dear He Says He Was Just Messing Around, But He Hurt Me,

I am currently in a relationship. But my boyfriend keeps hitting and today he pushed me down in a chair that I was sitting in when I wanted to get up. He says he was just messing around but sometimes he really hurts me. I like him. I don't know what to do.


Dear He Says He Was Just Messing Around, But He Hurt Me,

TeenHealthFX appreciates that there may be things about your boyfriend that you like, but the fact is that in healthy relationships partners do not hurt each other verbally or physically. FX thinks that you need to speak to a trusted adult about this as soon as possible, such as a parent or school counselor, so that you can get the support and guidance you need in dealing with this situation. It would also be helpful for someone to step in with your boyfriend so he can get the help he needs. If he equates hitting or pushing someone in a way that causes the other person pain with “just messing around,” then it is important for him to get professional help to ensure he finds a way to deal with his anger and control his behavior and impulses.

FX recommends you read our Hot Topic on Safer Dating Practices. You can get information there on what constitutes dating violence and how to know if you are a victim, or at risk of being a victim of dating violence. You can also get information here on hotlines, agencies and other resources that are available to you.

You can also look at our Resource of the Month, JBWS – Information for Teens, which provides personal stories of teens dealing with dating violence, relationship quizzes, information on how to stay safe, and there 24 hour hotline, 973-267-4763.

Again, we get that this relationship is important to you, but please don’t minimize what is going on. Your boyfriend is not a bad person, but he does have a problem. Any kind of pushing or hitting in a dating relationship is simply not ok - and it is not healthy for you to be involved in this kind of relationship. So please reach out for help with this right away.

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