I'm Scared and I Want Out of My House
TeenHealthFX is genuinely sorry to hear how much you are struggling at home and how negatively you are feeling about yourself right now. If you truly feel your mother hates you and is unwilling to accept you and love you for all of who you are, then we can certainly understand where these feelings are coming from.
FX thinks that it is very important for you to reach out for help with this situation right away. It would be helpful for you to be meeting with a reputable therapist, such as a clinical social worker or clinical psychologist, at least weekly. A therapist can help to address the negative feelings you have about yourself, the lack of control you may be feeling in your life (which often leads to behaviors like starving oneself), and the difficult family dynamics you are currently struggling with. A therapist can intervene on your behalf in whatever way in necessary depending in the specifics of the “borderline abusive” things that are happening. A therapist can also help you to find ways to connect with other teens in similar situations so you don’t feel so alone in what you are going through, as well as other teens and adults who will be accepting and respectful of who you are.
If you feel you can ask your parents to set up a consultation with a therapist, that would be a great start. If you don’t see that as a possibility then FX recommends that you talk to a school counselor, teacher or even your family doctor about what you are experiencing so that someone can intervene on your behalf to get you the help you need.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.
You might also find the following resources helpful: