Worthless And Unhappy

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I realize, objectively, that I'm fat, ugly, boring, stupid, annoying, ignorant, worthless, and completely unattractive in any way, shape, or form and that no male who is not clinically insane will ever consider me as a potential romantic candidate. However, I still develope infatuations and want to be involved romantically (and to a lesser extent physically) with someone. Can you offer any advice on getting rid of these feelings of want, since they will never ever be realized? Signed: Worthless and Unhappy
Signed: Worthless And Unhappy

Dear Worthless And Unhappy,


TeenHealthFX is very sorry that you see yourself in such a terribly negative way. And the fact is the way in which you describe yourself and see yourself is not objective, but totally subjective. FX knows that there are people out there who could see positive things in you. But what might be getting in the way of that happening and people wanting to be romantically involved with you in not your physical appearance or personality, but your state of mind about the kind of person you believe yourself to be. It is hard for people to connect to the positive in another person when that person feels so badly about themselves. What FX thinks is key here is not for you to give up your infatuations and desires to be romantically involved with another person, but to work on feeling more positively about yourself. FX knows that there are special and unique qualities that you possess – it is just a matter of your finding a way to recognize and embrace them.


Because of the intensity of your negative feelings about yourself, FX recommends that you meet with a mental health professional so that you can get a sense of what has contributed to this negative sense of self and so that you can work on developing a healthier self-image. It sounds corny, but it’s the truth – the more you love yourself, the more others will love you as well. And rather than putting in the effort to be content being alone in negative thoughts and feelings, wouldn’t it be better to put the effort into feeling better about yourself and forming positive connections with others? The latter is a much happier and healthier place to be.


If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers.

Signed: TeenHealthFX