Boyfriend Making Me Fear For My Safety

Published: May 01, 2013
Dear TeenHealthFX,

My ex boyfriend is making me fear my safety. He always knows where I am, with out me telling him or putting anything on social media on my whereabouts. My phone is capable of being tracked, in case it or I goes missing. He is very, very tech savvy and I fear that he is tracking my phone. He always asks who I'm with, and gets very angry if I don't tell him, or if I tell him and I'm with someone he either doesn't know or doesn't like, male or female. We only dated for three weeks, I broke up with him March 2012 because of his "stalker" behavior. I have since transferred schools for other reasons, and he has told me it drives him crazy not being able to "keep an eye on me." This is where I get really creeped out, besides the possible tracking of my phone: I have blocked his number multiple times,and he simply changes his number and texts and calls me again. I've blocked his Facebook, but he has people literally spying on me and I have no idea who. I'm really afraid. He thinks he's showing me how much he loves me and that we belong together. I would have to disagree with him on that... I want him out of my life, but I'm so scared that if I tell my parents the police will get involved, then what if he gets crazier? I don't know what to do. I am writing this at the public library and he just texted me asking me what books I'm getting. I'm so freaked out! Help...

Dear Boyfriend Making Me Fear For My Safety,

There is absolutely nothing in your nothing ex-boyfriend’s behavior that demonstrates love or a genuine commitment to you. He is using fear in an attempt to control you and keep you in his life. 

You need to tell your parents right away what is going on and they in turn should call the police. He is stalking you which is a major invasion of your privacy as well as a criminal offense. With the pattern of behavior your ex-boyfriend has been displaying there is a strong possibility that he will get violent at some point. Consider the scenario where he loses track of your whereabouts for a few hours or longer. By the time he confronted you about your absence he would be so enraged that violence would become a strong possibility. He has a serious problem and you have to take measures to protect yourself.

When you and your parents make a report to the police you also need to inquire about having a restraining order issued against him. He is not able to maintain appropriate boundaries on his own so it is important they be imposed upon him by the court. This will also bring his behaviors to the attention of his parents. Hopefully they will be able to recognize their son has a serious problem and needs help.

The App that is using to find phones is usually activated with the same log in name and password that you use when downloading an App’s on your smart phone or tablet device. If he has your log in name and password then he can use the same App to find you. If you have not changed the password in some time you need to do it right away. There are also tracking devices that are readily available for finding people. They are inexpensive and are usually used for family members to keep track of loved ones who suffer from some sort of dementia. If you are of driving age, he could have easily hid one in your car.

This young man needs help and has NO right to make you live your life in fear. You have to tell your parents what has been happening for your own safety. The police deal with these situations all the time and their upmost priority is keeping you safe. How much trouble your ex gets into is entirely up to the decisions he makes.



Signed: TeenHealthFX