Stressed, Depressed and Cutting

Published: December 17, 2014
Dear TeenHealthFX,

I don't know what to do. So I'm stressed. Depressed. And cutting. I've been been cutting for over 2 years now, and as a 10th grader in high school who is failing 5/9 of her classes with only 3 weeks to bring them up, I'm really stressed out. On top of that, my (ex) best friend is now dating my ex boyfriend not even a week after me and him broke up. And even though him and I did not date long, its the fact that she was flirting with him the whole time, she liked him the whole time, and the fact that she chose him over me that hurts. Seeing them together now hurts very much. Her and I stopped being friends, which is hard because her and I did everything in school together along with our 2 other friends. This brings me a lot of stress in school, on top of the fact that my grades are down. Sometimes i feel as if i just want to quit and commit suicide. The only thing that holds me back from that is the fact that it would hurt my parents and family. I know i need help (therapy) but i don't know how to ask my parents. Im stressed and depressed and cutting and i need help.

Dear Stressed, Depressed and Cutting,

Feeling betrayed by someone who you consider a close friend can be extremely hurtful. Having to confront it in school each day only adds to the difficulty. It doesn’t sound like your friend ever took your feelings into consideration. It may not have made of difference in the way you feel, but at least you could have respected her honesty. Oscar Wilde once said, “A true friend stabs you in the front.” In time you will learn and discover true friendship and find the relationship you deserve. TeenHealthFX realizes this statement isn’t that helpful right now but as time passes you will see the truth in it. 

The most important issue to concentrate on right now is you and your well-being. You have been cutting for the past 2 years and that is a major indicator that you have been struggling for some time now. Many teens use cutting as a way of dealing with emotions that are over whelming. The reality is that that this behavior is ineffective and only adds to the turmoil you are experiencing. It also exposes you to the strong possibility of medical complications. Right now you are being bombarded by these strong feelings that are most likely leading to feelings of isolated and guilt, which often accompanies cutting behavior. 

Here is the good part; you have come to the conclusion that you need help. That is a huge part of the healing process. You may feel like it is hard to tell your parents because they will be disappointed in you or angry. Whatever their reaction is, it will pass. It would haunt them the rest of their lives if something happened to you and you never gave them the chance to help. 

Sometimes the hardest part is getting the conversation going. If it is hard to find the words to start the conversation, you could gather your parents and give them a copy of what you wrote to TeenHealthFX. It is important that your parent’s realize that this is not just a “teenage thing” and that you are really struggling and need help. You could also enlist the help of an adult that you trust to provide support when you share with your parents. This could be someone from your school (nurse/counselor) or a family member. The most important issue is that you get help and not deal with this on your own. No matter how bad it seems right now, things can and do get better. 

If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Atlantic Health at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week 

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.



Signed: TeenHealthFX