Small Talk Trouble With The Ladies

Published: May 21, 2012
Dear Small Talk Trouble With The Ladies,
Hello I am a 16 year old guy who needs advice. I don't know how to make small talk with ladies at all. I believe myself to be a pseudo-Raj on the tv show Big Bang Theory except I can talk to girls in public, but if I want to converse Girls in private, I am at a loss for words. I do not have many close friends, but more like a wide array of acquaintances, none of whom are the go out and get'em type for the Ladies. I know I noticed because I am not bad looking and for other reasons, I mean I can tell by the more attention I receive, but I feel that I sort of mess up the conversation by leaving more abruptly that she (or I / both) would've liked. I just feel panicky almost when alone. I want to start dating, but this condition will not help me in the least. I cannot even get through a more intimate conversation let alone, get the courage up to ask a girl out (believe me I've tried). I still need to have the talk with my parents about dating, too. But they are just as skittish as me on this topic. I would accept any and all help including a therapist or some words of encouragement. Thank you all so much at TeenHealthFX, Signed, Small Talk Trouble with the Ladies

Dear Small Talk Trouble With The Ladies,

TeenHealthFX turned this question over to our Teen Advisory Committee since we thought they would be the best ones to advise you on how to converse with your female peers. They offered the following suggestions:

  • Compliments are often the key. Thinking of something nice to say can score huge points.
  • Find out what the girls likes. You can do this by asking if she has plans for the weekend, if she’s seen any good movies lately, or by asking what she’s doing for any school breaks or the summer vacation – anything to get a better sense of who she is and what she likes to do. Then see if you can find some common ground between the two of you.
  • Think about the little things like holding hands or offering to carry her books.
  • Don’t be too clingy – girls like when they see that guys can take care of things on their own.
  • Talk about something you like, such as a movie you just saw or a place you recently visited.  
  • Ask your acquaintances how they go about small talk.
  • It’s easier said than done, but don’t be afraid of rejection. Remember that it happens to everyone at some point or another!