Torn About Whether To Ask Her Out

Published: March 15, 2013
Dear Torn About Whether To Ask Her Out,
I'm an 17 year old straight male and I kinda like a girl in my school. I think she's beautiful, sweet and nice. I don't we don't have much in common. She hugged me a few times and I don't know if I should ask her out. My mind is confusing me, because part of me is saying is to ask her out and something in my head is saying to wait for the right one to come. I understand no one is perfect, but I'm confused what to do. Thank you

Dear Torn About Whether To Ask Her Out,

TeenHealthFX thinks that a lot of guys feel the same way you do when it comes to being interested in a girl and then feeling unsure about how to handle it. It can be nerve-wracking to ask someone out and risk rejection or feeling disappointed that maybe what you imagined could be is not what is there in reality. On the other hand, you never know what could be until you give it a try! If you find you never make a move because you are waiting for the “perfect” person or the “perfect” moment, FX wonders if something is making you anxious about moving forward and that this focus on perfection is just the way to stall and keep you out of potentially uncomfortable situation. If that’s the case, you might want to take some time to reflect on why you might be feeling on guard around dating and consider talking it out with a trustworthy adult if it continues to get in your way of asking out people you are interested in.

Your question is a great one, so FX also wanted to get some input from one of our Teen Advisory Committee members. Here’s what she had to say:

It’s so great that you have noticed someone in your school that you are interested in. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Start slow and try to see if you can spend some time to get to know her better. Asking her out may be your goal but try finding ways to talk to her in the meantime so you have a better idea of what she is interested in and what things you share in common. Start small. Walk with her to class, see where she sits at lunch (maybe you can sit with her), chat with her more on facebook or whatever online site you both go on. If you notice you both seem interested in similar things and each other, then reach out to her and see if she is going to an event. Tell her you will look for her and try to "hang out.” Start with small steps and if all goes well and you are feeling good about her that be brave and ask her out. 

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