Mom Hits Me When She is Mad
Before your relationship deteriorates further with your mother, this problem needs to be addressed in therapy. If there are other people in the family then they need to be part of the treatment process too. These type of situations have a detrimental impact on the whole family. It is not just limited to you and mom. If it is only the 2 of you then you need to reach out to an adult you trust and let them know how you have been feeling. Your goal would be to have that person help you to get mom to recognize that there is a problem and it is needs to be addressed before it gets to the point where you feel drastic action is needed. TeenHealthFX feels it should caution you that if your mother refuses any type of outside help, then she could be reported to child protective services in your state. The reason behind this, is so the court could mandate that you and your mother receive the help you need. The overall goal of these agencies is to help families out, not to punish parents.
If you get to the point that you are seriously considering suicide or are afraid of your impulses then you need to seek help immediately. You can call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. In northern New Jersey you can also call the crisis hotline from Atlantic Health at 973-540-0100. Outside this area call the Suicide & Crisis Hotline, 1-800-999-9999, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area.