Wishing For an Older Brother

Published: September 28, 2016
Dear TeenhealthFX,
Dear TeenHealthFX I am 19 years old and live in South Africa. I am the oldest child in my family, but lately I have been wishing that I had an older brother. I just want to know is this normal for someone my age. Why do I feel like this. I was bullied alot as a little kid, so my friend says that it is because I feel the need to be protected. Please help Renier
Signed: Wishing For an Older Brother

Dear Wishing For an Older Brother,

It sounds like you could use someone to help protect you, a characteristic often associated with an older brother. Any child who is bullied needs someone to protect them. If you are being frequently bullied, there must have been other people present. Most of them knew it was wrong, but people are afraid to speak up, fearing they will be targeted for the same abuse. Everyone needs to be protected from bullies. 

TeenHealthFX can understand why you would like the idea of having a big brother, but there are many other people or organizations out there who can provide similar support as a big brother would. There is a Big Brother organization in South Africa. In the United States brothers are sometimes called mentors (your country might use a different name.) TeenHealthFX could do the research, but since you know more about South African culture, you would have an edge over us. If you decide to look, be careful because there are bullies on the web also. The Internet bullies sometime show up as a friend, but could wind up hurting you ultimately. There are plenty of groups on the web who monitor this type of behavior. You can find their names listed here

In the US it is common to hear someone say “I love you like a brother, sister, mother, father.” Although they are not blood related, it doesn’t seem to matter. There are mean people at every stage of life and sometime they can be hard to avoid. Hopefully you’ll discover, that there are more people who dislike bullies and they are very powerful force when they band together. 

Your siblings are lucky, it sounds like they got the big brother you wanted.


Signed: TeenhealthFX