Hopeless Infatuation?

Published: March 01, 2017
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hopeless infatuation? I am 14yr old girl. I know this devistatingly attractive boy, but I had never met him. I don't believe I ever will. We are not in same grade/class. But I can sense a very prominent bond of emotional attraction between us esp. when I look into his eyes. When we look at eachother my world stops. I have never felt this way before. Now, I do not know much about this boy except for his first name and his class. ( school setting) There is absolutely NO connection between him and I (tel. No, email , facebook) we have never officially exchanged conversation and today Is the first day of the spring break (2 wks). Note that he has shown mild signs of indirect flirtation towards me like staring and smiling ( he stares alot ). I have so many confusing feelings for him.. I have never felt these feelings before. Very frustrating. Can I possibly be developing love-related, romantic feelings for this boy? How can I cope with not seeing him for two wks? How can I tell if he shares my feelings and how can I approach him
Signed: Hopeless Infatuation?

Dear Hopeless Infatuation?,

TeenHealthFX recommends that you start out by reading the KidsHealth article, Crushes, and the TeensHealth article, Love and Romance. They will give you some helpful information about the romantic-type feelings that can come up for tweens and teens, including why these types of feelings happen, how it can feel, and what to do with those particular types of feelings.

FX also thinks it would be helpful for you to talk about what you are experiencing with a trusted adult such as a parent/guardian, friend’s parent, school nurse, school counselor, extended family member or anyone one else you feel comfortable talking to about this. Remember that all of these adults have dealt with these same feeling at some point and can definitely give you some support and guidance in how to handle these feelings.

As for coping with not seeing him, FX thinks that one of the most helpful things you can do is to make sure you have fun and constructive things to do with your time. Whether you are working on schoolwork, participating in extra-curricular activities, hanging out with friends and family, exercising or doing anything else you enjoy, it is important for your time to be filled so you are not sitting around brooding over this. Time flies when we are having fun. Not filling your time is a set up to sit around and possibly agonize over this! Plus, as much as crushes are exciting parts of adolescence, it is important to make sure they don’t completely take over and that we still have other important people and interests in our lives that we are attending to.

It can be difficult to know with crushes if the feelings are mutual. You can check with some friends to see if anyone knows about his potential interests. You can also try talking to him and see how he responds. If you have questions about how to do this, a friend or a trusted adult could definitely provide you with some pointers.   

Signed: TeenHealthFX