Weird for Me To Think About Having a Wife and Children One Day?

Published: December 12, 2017
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Is it weird that I was this? I’m a 16 year old boy but I keep having this desire about having children and having a wife one day, I keep having these taughts all the time. I know for a girl its probably fine and for older men. Is this normal
Signed: Weird for Me To Think About Having a Wife and Children One Day?

Dear Weird for Me To Think About Having a Wife and Children One Day?,

There are lots of reasons why young men or young women may think about having a spouse and children in the future. It might be because of gender issues. For example, women often get the message about the importance of marriage and having children. It could also be cultural with the example of Italian families as often putting a great deal of importance on the idea of family, which could influence young women or young men in terms of thinking about marriage and children.

Some people – young women or young men – might think about getting married and having children because they are longing for a certain kind of connection they don’t feel they currently have. TeenHealthFX wonders how you are feeling in your current family. Do you feel connected to your immediate family members in a way where you feel really cared about and like you have people you can count on no matter what? If you do not, you might (understandably) have a strong desire to have your own spouse and children with whom you can create the type of relationships you are longing for. FX wants to stress in all of this that wanting to feel close and connected to others is definitely a normal thing!

If you are feeling like something is missing in your current family relationships, or you just want to better understand what these desires are about, you might consider speaking with a private therapist or a counselor at school. Meeting with a therapist or counselor does not mean there is anything wrong or abnormal going on. Sometimes it just helps to have a listening ear as we try and figure out thoughts or feelings we are having. Receiving support and guidance when we are dealing with something or feeling stuck with something is a good thing!

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX