Not Sure What My Feelings for My Friend Mean

Published: April 22, 2018
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I need help with my friendship. First off, let me say that I am a straight guy and my friend in question is also a guy. I ONLY feel sexual attraction to females. However, I think I might be in love with him. I only want to spend time with him and I feel my happiest when I am with him. I also feel jealous whenever I think someone is getting too close to him. Although I have no sexual feelings for him, the love I feel for him is the same as the love I have felt for girls in the past. I am both scared and confused. I am scared because I am afraid that my feelings for him would only lead to me getting my heart broken in some way. I am confused because I am straight and yet in love with him. Could this mean that I am bisexual or something? What should I do about my feelings? I don't want to do anything that would make me lose him, but idk what to do. Please help.
Signed: Not Sure What My Feelings for My Friend Mean

Dear Not Sure What My Feelings for My Friend Mean,

Connections with others are very special and important things. When we feel like we have people in our lives who we feel truly care about us and who we feel we can rely on, we tend to feel secure in that relationship and really comfortable and happy. If you are not feeling sexual feelings for your friend, it is possible that you are just feeling very close and connected to him maybe like brothers might feel.

However, if this is causing you confusion and stress, FX would recommend that you schedule an appointment with a reputable therapist who can provide you with a safe, private space to explore these feelings and figure out what they mean to you.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.

Signed: TeenHealthFX