No Girlfriend Yet - Am I Doing Something Wrong?

Published: May 14, 2012
Dear TeenHealthFX,
I’m 17 years old and never had a girlfriend, every day when I come home from school I feel bored and lonely. I feel like dating now, and it seems like no girl likes me. Some of my friends already started dating; I’m very nice, mature, and well-groomed. My greatest desire is having a girlfriend in my arms. I’m just being myself and feel very comfortable around my peers. My friends are telling that I’ll get a girlfriend eventually, but I have been looking for few a months and still no girls like me. Am I doing something wrong? thanks
Signed: No Girlfriend Yet - Am I Doing Something Wrong?

Dear No Girlfriend Yet - Am I Doing Something Wrong?,


TeenHealthFX thinks that it is important for you not look at your not having a girlfriend yet as meaning that you are doing something “wrong.” Finding a significant other who is a good fit is something that takes time. There are many, many, many teens out there who do not date while in high school – and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with them or that they are not doing the “right” thing.

It sounds like having a girlfriend in your life right now is very important to you, so FX can certainly appreciate if you are feeling impatient, sad, or even frustrated about being single. Very often we meet people who are good fits for us as we are living life and doing the things we love. Rather than putting the primary focus on finding a girlfriend, maybe it would help to stay focused on being with friends you like, participating in activities that interest you, or even finding part-time work or joining some school or town clubs as a way to meet more people. Again, the more you put yourself out there doing the things you enjoy, the more likely you are to meet people (friends and girlfriends) who enjoy the same kinds of things and are likely to click with you.

If you find that you continue to feel frustrated or distressed about this, FX recommends that you speak with a trusted adult about how you are feeling. You can speak to your parents, an extended family member, the parent or a friend, a school counselor, or anyone else you feel could provide you with some comfort, support, and guidance in what you are going through. And since you stated that you often feel bored and lonely after school, if it feels like this is a general issue causing you distress, it would be a good idea to talk about this with someone as well.

Signed: TeenHealthFX