Can't Seem To Get Girls To Like Me

Published: December 05, 2012
Dear Can't Seem To Get Girls To Like Me,

Im finding it difficult at the moment because no matter what i do i cant seem to get girls to like me . They always like one of my mates and never me. And as a result to this i watch pornography , i know i should'nt but because i have no girl in my life i turn to porn. i need help on both things

Dear Can't Seem To Get Girls To Like Me,

Getting the attention of a girl can be a tough thing for many teens, so TeenHealthFX appreciates that you might be feeling frustrated with this particular problem. We turned to our Teen Advisory Committee for some ideas on what to do. They suggested you keep the following in mind:

  • Confidence is key. If you come across as confident, that will increase your chances of drawing interest. So try and focus on the great qualities you possess to help build up your confidence.
  • Take interest in her. Try and find out about the girl’s interests. What kind of music does she like and what kinds of movies is she interested in? Does she work or play sports? What are her hobbies? How many siblings does she have? There are all kind of things to ask about.
  • See where your common interests lie. When you find out more about the things she likes to do, see where there are overlaps in terms of your interests and let her know the things you have in common.
  • Be direct. If you want to go out with a girl, ask her out on a date. Not every girl is going to say yes and not every date is going to go perfectly – it is important to remember that everyone deals with those two things and isn’t any kind of negative statement about you.
  • If your friends seem to get a lot of attention from the girls, ask them what they do when they are interested in a particular girl.

There are lots of ways to connect to other people besides face-to-face interactions. Texting, emails, Facebook – these are all various ways of connecting to others. And looking at porn can also be a result of someone wanting to connect to others. If actual connections with girls aren’t working out for you, it could be the reason you are turning to porn – to feel like there is some kind of connection with the opposite sex. FX wonders if the more you are able to connect with the girls you know, the less porn will be of interest to you. But if you continue to feel like your use of porn is problematic, then consider talking to a trusted adult about it such as a parent, your doctor, or a school counselor.

One key thing in dealing with both of these issues is patience – patience that it might take some time for these issues to work themselves out and patience in yourself rather than getting frustrated with yourself. FX has confidence you will figure this out in time. And if you need some support or guidance along with way, think of a trusted adult you can talk to about it.