Shy And Worried To Ask Out The Girl I Like

Published: February 28, 2015
Dear Shy And Worried To Ask Out The Girl I Like,

I really like a girl at my school, two in fact, and would love to go out with one of them. I'm pretty sure that they like me too. The thing is, I'm too shy and worried to ask them out. Even if one of them asked me out, I'm also too shy and have trouble keeping conversations going. I always get really sad when i see others in a great relationship and really want it, but I dont know how to go about it. I'm 15 and haven't had my first girlfriend or kiss. I also have no trouble talking to them normally, but I am worried that i wont be able to talk to them during a relationship. If I just date one of them and ruin it by being shy, then they will tell friends and ruin other relationships i may have with other girls in school. What do i do?????

Dear Shy And Worried To Ask Out The Girl I Like,

First dates, first kisses and first relationships are nerve-wracking for so many people, so TeenHealthFX would like to start by assuring you that you are not alone in how you are feeling. If you have someone you are interested in asking out, FX would like to encourage you to ask that person out and to keep the following in mind when you do:

  • Try not to feel too intimated by the girl you want to ask out. She is human, too, and will probably feel nervous about the idea of going on a date with someone new, as well.

  • Come up with some ideas before your date about things you could talk about. Where your families usually go on vacation, what movies you’ve watched recently, what music you listen to, what sports teams you like – think of topics and things to discuss where you can look for some common ground.

  • If you are worried about keeping conversation up for prolonged periods of time, find something to do where you will have a break in the talking and/or an activity to focus on – like going to the movies or going bowling.

  • Don’t look at your being a shy person, or being initially shy, as something somehow unappealing about you. If who you are is a shy person (or someone who is initially shy in new social situations), then the girl who is the right match for you will both like and accept this about you – not be turned off by it.

  • Remember that being shy in new social situations is very normal and very common. And don’t underestimate how many girls will find this endearing and sweet.

For more support and guidance with this, FX suggests you speak to some guy friends or male family members who can talk to you about their experiences with asking girls out and dating.