Should I Tell My Mother What Happened to Me?
Published: March 18, 2026
Dear TeenHealth FX,
Five years ago, my parents and I were visiting our neighbors. At one point, my parents and the wife were talking in the living room, and the husband was standing with me in the hallway. I felt his fingers and thought that he just bumped in to me but then saw that he was running his nails up and down my arm. He had a disturbing smile and seductively said "I'm doing that to tease you. Are you getting goosebumps?" I wanted to my mother to know but was so embarrassed and scared that I couldn't mention it. A few months ago, the husband died, bringing me back to the event. It was bothering me that I never told my mother about it, but I worried that I would leave her with frustration and anger that she would have had no way of getting rid of since she couldn't confront the man. I was also afraid that she would have been mad at me for not telling her in the first place. I grew torn about this.
- Should I tell my mother about what our late neighbor has done to me?
Signed: Should I Tell My Mother What Happened to Me?
Dear Should I Tell My Mother What Happened to Me?,
TeenHealth FX wants you to be reassured that this is a confusing situation, and it is not your fault that you did not know what to do/ who to tell at the time. With the passing of the neighbor, it also makes sense that emotions and reminders of the incident would be brought up.
TeenHealth FX wants you to know that you have options and resources available to talk through your decision and experience with someone. Reaching out to a trusted adult, such as your mom, guidance counselor, etc. is a great start.
If you want to talk about this with someone on a 24/7 confidential line, please call the Atlantic Health Sexual Assault Center Hotline at 973-829-0587. Please call 973-971-4754 to speak with an Atlantic Health clinician or click here for more information on the website.
If you are not located in the NJ area, please contact the 24/7 National Hotline for guidance at 1-800-656-4673.
Reminder, there is support available to you to help you make a decision.
Signed: TeenHealth FX
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