My Sister Keeps Teasing Me

Published: March 10, 2014
Dear My Sister Keeps Teasing Me,

Dear teenhealthfx' I have a problem with my sister she is only 10 I'm 12 she keeps teasing me and giving me commands but when I give her commands she doesn't do what I say and when I come to her school room to pick her up her friends always teases me and my grandma keeps telling me to ignore it but I can't and she always tease me when my grandparents are out and my only company is my aunt and her brother (my uncle) because my mom is working abroad and my dad is working in another place too that's why I live with my grandparents

Dear My Sister Keeps Teasing Me,

TeenHealthFX can appreciate how tough it can be to deal with sibling rivalry. FX wonders if part of what is hard in your relationship with your sister is that you are both trying to give each other commands. It sounds like neither of you reacts very well to being given commands, so perhaps it would be helpful to come up with a new way of speaking to one another. You can’t control what she says, but you can control what you say. So FX recommends that you try speaking to her in a more respectful way that is less focused on giving commands and that you let her know if she is going to treat you in a disrespectful way you are not going to stay near her (and then go to another part of the house). FX appreciates that it is hard to ignore teasing behavior, but the problem is that when you show that you are bothered by what she is doing, it will only make her want to do it more. Perhaps you can talk to your grandmother, or another trusted adult, about how you can work on not getting so upset by her behavior. FX also recommends you speak to your grandparents and ask them to intervene if you are not able to resolve the problem on your own.

Dealing with a teasing sibling or friend can be difficult, and often it is helpful to have someone to talk to about it. FX wonders if it would be helpful for you to speak to your school counselor or a private therapist about this issue so that you can find a different way to react to your sister, so you can feel like you are getting the support you need from your grandparents, and so you can deal with how upsetting this situation is to you. FX could also appreciate that not living with either of your parents might be difficult for you and your sister and could possibly be adding to some of the tension between the two of you – so it might be helpful for you to have someone to talk about that with, too.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.