My Relationship With My Sister Is A Horrible Problem

Published: April 30, 2014
Dear My Relationship With My Sister Is A Horrible Problem,

My sister is a horrible problem. She calls me a slut to my face and when i see her around school (shes 14 and im 12) she calls me a slut and isnt joking.If i ask for help she says oh look! "slut problems" and yea. She got her ipod taken away so she always uses mine, even though im breaking the rules by being a nice sister.I let her use it and when i ask for it back she shoos me away and takes it away from me. And says "1 sec" then like 5 minutes later when im yelling at her to give it to me (every time>) she gets up and throws it at me and calls me a bitch.She only ever cares about that even today at my uncles funeral she was asking me to use it, she really likes using it as if its more important than me.i used to say no because she NEVER let me touch her (when she had it) saying because i have stuff you cant see on there. She wont let me answer her snaps when i offer to say goodbye to her friends because there is something she doesnt want me to see.Shes the reason im a total wreck. She calls me fat,ugly,fake,slut,whore,bitch,brat,cow,pig,fat ass, flat chested, and so many other things. Ive given up so much stuff for her, she doesnt even guve me shxt. Im done with her. And its not like i can tell my parents bc they would NEVER understand that i have an instagram and snapchat because im not allowed to have one, and dont say 'theyll understand' because they wont. last time with face book i got belted and months worth of yardwork from 9:00 am- 5:00 pm every weekend. Please help im in alot of stress but dont worry i have a very strong vow to myself id never selfharm thanks for listening.

Dear My Relationship With My Sister Is A Horrible Problem,

TeenHealthFX thinks that it is important for you to reach out to someone for help with this issue as it sounds like you have some very serious conflicts going on with your sister. The best way to start might be by talking to a counselor at school. You and your counselor could then decide together whether your school counselor will be able to provide you with the help you need or it would be better for you to have a consultation scheduled with a reputable mental health professional, such as a clinical psychologist or clinical social worker, in your community.

It sounds like you have a lot of conflict in how you feel about your sister. On one hand you describe her as being extremely hurtful and cruel to you, but on the other hand it sounds like you feel compelled to continue to extend yourself to be there for her in whatever way she wants. This dynamic has clearly become a problem because your sister is taking advantage of it and you continue to put yourself in situations to be taken advantage of. So, again, we do think it’s important for you to have help from a school counselor and/or private therapist so this issue can be addressed.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area.