Does Going Too Far Spoil a Relationship?

Published: June 07, 2017
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Does going too far spoil a relationship?
Signed: Does Going Too Far Spoil a Relationship?

Dear Does Going Too Far Spoil a Relationship?,

By definition, “going too far” means exceeding the limits of what is reasonable or acceptable. So to go “too far” sexually in a relationship would basically mean being physical in a way that is beyond what is acceptable or comfortable to one or both partners. If by “going too far” you are referring to someone using force with any kind of sexual act, not only would it severely damage the relationship, but it would also be against the law. But even if you are talking about two people consenting to a sexual relationship when inside one or both people are not fully ready for or comfortable with it, yes, that can also ruin a relationship. If one or both people feel any guilt, shame, embarrassment or regret, it could change their view of themselves, the other person and the relationship. It could easily lead them to distance themselves or put up a wall in some way.

There are a lot of issues that can result from being sexually active before you are ready, if you are feeling pressured, if you are pressuring someone else, or if you are not comfortable for whatever the reason. It can easily affect how you feel about yourself, the other person and your relationship with one another. For that reason, FX strongly recommends that people consider being sexually active only when they are absolutely sure that they are ready and comfortable with it and that their partner is, too. FX also recommends that two people consider being sexually active when it comes from a place of love and respect. Without those feelings present between two people, there is definite risk that being physically intimate will spoil the relationship.

For more information on sexual readiness, read the TeenHealthFX Hot Topic When Am I Ready for Sex?, as well as the Planned Parenthood article, Am I Ready for Sex?

If and when you decide to become sexually active, make sure you speak to your doctor about safer sex precautions to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STDs. For information about how pregnancy happens, birth control, STDs, emergency contraception and more, check out the links in our Resource of the Month, Planned Parenthood Resources on Safer Sex.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-5199 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. A Planned Parenthood health center is a good option if you have concerns about cost or confidentiality issues. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

Signed: TeenHealthFX