Is It Unhealthy to Have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend at 14?
If someone is trying to figure out whether dating at their age/phase of life is healthy or not, TeenHealthFX recommends asking the following questions:
- Am I dating someone because of pressure from friends, because I feel like everyone else is dating or because I think it is something I should be doing?
- Is my relationship with my significant other getting in the way of my building and maintaining close, healthy relationships with friends and/or family members?
- Is my relationship with my significant other (how much I dedicate time to thinking about my significant other and/or being with my significant other) getting in the way of school?
- Is my relationship with my significant other (how much I dedicate time to thinking about my significant other and/or being with my significant other) getting in the way of my pursuing hobbies and extra-curricular activities?
- Is it hard for me to do things alone or with friends that do not involve my significant other?
- Do I often feel pressured, stressed or unhappy in my relationship?
- Do I often question how much I care about my significant other and how much they really care about me?
- Do I feel my significant other tries to control what I do, puts me down, or is hurtful to me emotionally or physically?
- Do I see my significant other as my whole world – I would have nothing without them?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, FX recommends you take some time and give some thought to why the answer is yes and what it may mean. For example, does it mean you are not ready to date or does it mean you need to be more conscious of how you are spending your time?
If you are being hurt physically or emotionally in a relationship, it is important to speak to a trusted adult about that right away.
There is a lot to learn and consider even for those who are definitely ready to start dating. So always make sure you have trusted and caring people in your life you can talk to about relationships. If you have any other questions or concerns, definitely consider speaking to a trusted adult about it such as a parent/guardian, parent/guardian of a friend, teacher, school nurse, guidance counselor or anyone else you can give the support and guidance you need with this issue.