Coping With My Break-Up

Published: January 17, 2018
Dear TeenHealthFX,
i think i need help. im a girl and i had a boyfriend but i broke up with him. i knew it was a mistake the second i did it. but i felt like it was too late. and for a while i tried talking to him but it was just too painful so i stopped. and i tried to move on but i can't. it's been years! i don't want to say how many i don't want to sound crazy. so i was online one night and i finally found him. and i said hello. and he answered. and it was pretty touch and go but about two months later i saw him in person. i tried to hang out. it was weird. and the third time i was just so sad i just started crying and he started crying too and i kissed him but it was just sad and then i left i was so angry i almost got in an accident on the way home i was just crying the whole time. its been over a year im still crying. ive tried texting him but he never answers. i need to move on but i can't please help me. i can't stop crying i don't know what to do anymore.
Signed: Coping With My Break-Up

Dear Coping With My Break-Up,

TeenHealthFX appreciates that getting over a breakup can be difficult, and understands the emotions you are feeling. FX reminds you that coping is an important aspect of a breakup, and encourages the following:

  • Talk about your emotions. Identify a trusted adult who you are comfortable speaking to about your breakup. Talking about your feelings out loud is a healthy way to cope. 
  • Allow yourself to cry. This is a normal coping method and is nothing to be ashamed of. Often times, people feel better after they allow themselves to cry!
  • Write it out. You expressed that you feel your breakup was a mistake. Writing down the reasons that you initially decided to end your relationship may beneficial in helping you view your current relationship status in a different, more positive lens.  


To continue, it is not uncommon to look back on relationships with mixed emotions, including feelings of regret. However, FX stresses that is critical to strive for optimism. Some ideas include: 

  • Do the things you love. Focus on the activities that make you happy in order to relieve stress. 
  • Create other relationships. This can be done by hanging out with friends, and/or reaching out to a classmate who you normally do not spend time with. 
  • Join a team or club. Being part of a group is a fun way to make new friends, and can provide you with events to look forward to. 
  • Exercise. Physical activity releases endorphins, which allow your body and mind to feel good. Try to engage in brisk exercise every day by riding your bike or going for a walk to one of your favorite spots in town.  


If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area. 

TeenHealthFX recommends the following resources for additional guidance: 

Signed: TeenHealthFX