Relationships

Should I Let It Go?

Published: May 11, 2020

Dear TeenHealthFX,

I am female i have a male friend we have been close friends since we were kids. We are both a little older now and i love him. Ive known for a long time and i want to be with him. He has a girlfriend. He was saying that she would be ok with him seeing other people. I dont think its true and im not sure im ok with that anyway. I mean its their business obviously but im having weird feelings. Im not even sure if he was talking about me but i dont want to be another person i want to be his girlfriend, his only girlfriend. But i feel upset that he would do that. Should i tell him any of this? Is it too late? I dont want to be judgmental but im not sure me getting into anything like a triangle is going to help anything. Should i just let it go?

Signed: Should I Let It Go?

Dear Should I Let It Go?,

TeenHealthFX understands that this is a difficult decision. Telling a close friend that you have feelings for them is very scary especially when they have a girlfriend. It’s also complicated because you mention that he thinks his girlfriend would be OK if he sees other people and you don’t agree with him.

You really need to think about how you feel and what you want. Are you OK with just continuing your friendship? Do you want to tell him that you’ve had strong feeling for you for a long time and would like to be in a mutually exclusive relationship with him? Do you want to tell him that you don’t agree with him that his girlfriend is fine with him seeing other people?

Then even though it will be awkward, have an open and honest conversation with him. You won’t know the outcome until you ask. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable or something comes up that you are not ok with, then it might be a good idea give your friendship a break. Focus on your other friends, family, goals, and interests.

Signed: TeenHealthFX

Ratings

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the US among people aged 10-14 ¹

Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in the US among people aged 15-24 ²

51% of youth (6-17) get treatment each year for a mental health condition ³

15.6 teenage girls for every 1,000 will give birth to a baby before they are 20 years old. ⁴

Only 6% of high school students get tested for STDs ⁵

1/3 of high school students who were currently sexually active used effective hormonal birth control the last time they had sex with an opposite-sex partner ⁶

Nearly 30% of female students currently drank alcohol and nearly 20% currently used marijuana.⁷

2.14 million middle and high school students currently vape ⁸

Over 80% of women and men both report having experienced their first rape under the age of 25. ⁹

Almost 40% of high school students have reported using marijuana at least once. ¹⁰

83.88% of 12- to 17-year-olds have reported using marijuana within the last month. ¹¹

One in four women first experienced intimate partner violence before the age of 18. ¹²

5.9 million teens have reported to drink at least once in the past month. ¹³

In 2022, there were 1,573 motor-vehicle deaths from underage drinks ¹⁴

About 1 in 10 children live in a home with a parent who has a drinking problem ¹⁵

Only 65 percent of teens consistently wear seat belts when driving or as a passenger. ¹⁶

The risk of motor vehicle crashes is higher among 16- to 19-year-olds than any other age group. ¹⁷

49% of the youth report having less than 3 friends in 2022 ¹⁸

^{2.7 million youth report experiencing severe major depression}¹⁹

Over 3.3 million teens will be graduating from high school in the year 2023-2024 ²⁰

The average social media screen time for teens is 7 hours and 22 minutes per day ²¹