Penetration Won't Work For Me - What's Going On?

Published: January 20, 2015
Dear Penetration Won't Work For Me - What's Going On?,

When me and my boyfriend try to have sex, his penis won't fit. No matter how librocated or aroused I am. It really hurts and I don't know what to do. He can barely fit two fingers in. Also sometimes when he pushes in two fingers, my vagina burns and stings on the inside.


Dear Penetration Won't Work For Me - What's Going On?,

It is possible you have something known as vaginismus, an involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening which occurs whenever an attempt is made to penetrate the vagina. For some women with this condition, they are unable to insert anything to the vagina (such as with having sexual intercourse or inserting a tampon). Other women may find that certain types of penetration, such as putting in a tampon or having a pelvic examination by a doctor, can occur without pain or discomfort, but when intercourse is attempted it feels difficult if not impossible.

Vaginismus is generally not due to any physical deformity or medical disorder. It is an emotional condition that occurs because of psychological reasons that end up manifesting in a physical response. In other words, feelings come up (such as fear or anxiety) and the result is basically that the muscles of the body tense up.

Keep in mind while that it is possible that you are dealing with vaginismus, TeenHealthFX can’t know for sure and can’t make any diagnoses over the web. That said, it is important for you to meet with your gynecologist, adolescent medicine specialist or primary care physician so that you can be properly diagnosed. Once you have an accurate  diagnosis, your doctor can make treatment recommendations so the problem can be resolved.

If you haven’t done so already, it would also be important to talk with your doctor about what methods of birth control you will be using since you are attempting sex with your boyfriend. It is generally recommended to use condoms to help protect against the transmission of STDs and unwanted pregnancies, as well as back-up method of birth control such as the pill or birth control shot. But your doctor can discuss what methods would be best for you.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-5199 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

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