Should I Lose My Virginity to a One Night Stand?

This is definitely not a decision for TeenHealthFX to make. When and in what situation you lose your virginity is something that you need to decide for yourself. What FX can do is offer things for you to consider as you make this decision so you can hopefully make a decision that is a healthy one for you.

The first thing to consider is how you will feel about being so close and intimate with someone you are not in a relationship with. People can all kinds of powerful emotional reactions to having sex. What do you imagine it will be like for you to feel strongly for someone or strongly about an experience you had with someone you are not committed to in any way?

What might this mean in terms of how other people may see you or how you see yourself? Whether right or wrong, the reality is that people can have certain opinions of people who have one-night stands. Sometimes it can be a turn off to people who might otherwise want a relationship with you.

What is making you consider this? Do you feel left out in some way, like your peers are sexually active and you are not? If so, is this reason enough for you to have sex with someone?

Is something difficult or scary about thinking of being physically intimate within a relationship? If so, FX would recommend talking about this with a trusted adult in case there are any issues around being close to others which needs to be addressed.

Ideally, sex is best and most special when there is respect and a very special love between the two people. It’s also the type of situation when people tend to feel best about themselves in terms of deciding to be sexually active. But, again, this is a decision you need to make for yourself. If you continue to have difficulty deciding on what is best for you, FX recommends you speak to someone such as a parent/guardian, school counselor, school nurse, doctor, parent of a friend, or any other trusted adult who can provide you with some support and guidance on this.

Finally, FX thinks it would be very helpful for you to be educated about various aspects of sexual health for whenever the time does come that you decide to become sexually active. You can consider the following:

TeenHealthFX would like to encourage you to speak to your doctor about safer sex precautions for the future. Doctors generally recommend that teens and young adults who choose to be sexually active use condoms each and every time they have sex to protect against unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STDs, as well as a back-up method of birth control such as the pill or birth control shot. Your doctor can make the best recommendations for you and discuss with you how to use properly use birth control to maximize its effectiveness.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-5199 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. A Planned Parenthood health center is a good option if you have concerns about cost or confidentiality issues. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers.

FX also suggests that you check out the links in our Resource of the Month: Planned Parenthood Resources on Safer Sex so that you can learn about sexual readiness, how pregnancy happens, pregnancy tests, emergency contraception, birth control, STDs and more. The more educated you are about these topics, the more likely you will make healthy decisions for yourself when it comes to your sexual health.