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Recently Discovered I'm Bisexual - Scared of How My Dad Will React

Published: January 10, 2018
Dear TeenHealthFX,

Recently I have realized I am Bisexual, I told my mom. She said "it is just a phase". She comes from a small town. I am nervous about how my dad will react because I feel his mind will only think, my daughter is a lesbian. I feel alone. I only trust my friends with this secret. I dont want to tell him. He just wont understand. It isn't even that my parents are homophobic. They accept people in the LGBTQ community. I just am scared.

Signed: Recently Discovered I'm Bisexual - Scared of How My Dad Will React

Dear Recently Discovered I'm Bisexual - Scared of How My Dad Will React,

Quite understandably, you would like your father to accept you for all of who you are – which includes your sexual orientation. If you are concerned that he will not be able to understand and accept this part of you, then TeenHealthFX can appreciate that you would be feeling scared and alone. Kids generally want their parents to think well of them and they also generally want to feel like they have their parents to lean on and turn to with whatever they are dealing with. If you feel you father won’t understand or be okay with your being bisexual, it might become hard for you to feel that way.

TeenHealthFX thinks the best thing you could do at this point would be to find a trusted adult you can talk to about this. You clearly have some worries about this situation, and it would be helpful for you to get support and guidance in how to handle these concerns, as well as someone to be there for you so you are not feeling so alone. You could speak to a counselor at school or meet with a reputable private therapist. A warm, non -judgmental, trusted adult could help you to process your feelings and come up with a plan of how to deal with this with both of your parents.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area

Resources:

  • The CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) has LGBT Youth Resources for teens and parents.
  • GLAAD LGBTQ Resource List has resources specific to youth and bisexual individuals.
  • CenterLink serves over 165 LGBT community centers across the country. These communities serve over 1.5 million people with direct services, educational efforts, and working towards social change.
  • If you decide to tell any family members, you might suggest they join a group like PFLAG, where they can get their own support and guidance as they adjust to what may be a very unexpected situation for them. The mission statement of PFLAG, as written on their website is as follows: By meeting people where they are and collaborating with others, PFLAG realizes its vision through: Support for families, allies and people who are LGBTQ. Education for ourselves and others about the unique issues and challenges facing people who are LGBTQ. Advocacy in our communities to change attitudes and create policies and laws that achieve full equality for people who are LGBTQ
Signed: TeenHealthFX

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