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Born a Girl, But Feel Like a Boy

Published: May 09, 2018
Dear TeenHealthFX,

I was born a girl but I feel like a boy and I always have. I feel like I should have a male body. I feel wrong. I know transgender people exist and I know that's probably what I am but I don't want to be. People are hateful and I'm scared. How do I stop feeling like a boy and start being a girl?

Signed: Born a Girl, But Feel Like a Boy

Dear Born a Girl, But Feel Like a Boy,

According to TeensHealth, “When you think of yourself as male or female, it's called gender identity. Everyone has a gender identity — the inborn sense of ourselves as being male or female. Most people's gender identity matches their anatomy. But people feel different from their physical appearances.”

Some people identify as gender queer. According to the Human Rights Campaign, gender queer is, “An umbrella term for gender identities other than man and woman. People who identify as genderqueer may see themselves as being both male and female, neither male nor female or as falling completely outside these categories. Use this term only when an individual self-identifies as genderqueer.”

Other people identify as transgender. This is a term for people whose gender identity is different than the sex they were identified at birth. While some people know they are transgender from birth, others start to sense these feelings during puberty or later in their life.

Some people who are transgender choose to transition. This means they physically change their bodies — through surgery or taking hormones — to match the gender they feel they really are. Others do not transition, yet may make changes to their name, preferred pronouns and/or outfit choices; in order to more closely aligns with the gender norms of the gender they feel on the inside. 

You stated that you are experiencing feeling of uncertainty and neglect with your gender identity. TeenHealthFX suggests reaching out to a trusted adult to discuss your current situation. You can talk to your doctor, school nurse or counselor, parents, teacher or coach. He/she can help refer you to certified a therapist or social worker in your area.

If you live in northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist you can call the Access Center from Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400. Outside of this area you can log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website for referrals in your area. A Planned Parenthood health center is also a good option if you have concerns about cost or confidentiality issues. You can also contact your insurance company to get a list of in-network mental health providers or check with your school social worker or psychologist to get a list of referrals in your area. 

Further, you stated that people are hateful and you are scared. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for people to be bullied and/or abused for their gender identity or sexual orientation. If you find that you are being bullied for these reasons, TeenHealthFX encourages you to reach out to a trusted adult to report the bullying. You can also utilize the following resources which specifically cater to LGBTQ youth.

 

1. Crisis Text Line

  • Text “LGBTQ” to 741741

 

2. National Runaway Safeline

  • 1-800-786-2929

 

3. Trans Lifeline

  • 1-877-565-8860

 

4. The Trevor Project

  • 1-866-488-7386
Signed: TeenHealthFX

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