I Am Spiraling. How Do I Make It Stop?

Published: December 04, 2020
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Hi, im technically not a teen anymore i just turned 20 and basically everything has gone to shit. I flunked out of school and i am in trouble with work like i was never like this. I was a good student i mean my self esteem is bad but i managed. I mean like i flunked before but i was like 13. I thought i was ok. And like i dont party but like i drank for the first time. A lot. Drove home drunk. Like im having a problem with people at work like i think something is wrong with me. My mom put me in therapy when i graduated hs and like its not helping like im not sure what im sposed to be doing there i just want to go to school and work i dont get why there has to be something wrong with me. Like im mad but like im acting out doing crazy shit like bad stuff and i am afraid. I wish i had told someone sooner but i suck at communicating which is kind of weird since my therapist called me articulate. I have no clue how to check my feelings im losing it its just acting out of anger. But its subtle not explosive not yet i mean aside from me crying and yelling at myself in the car. What if i cant get better what if i just dont know im crazy? Am i ever going to be okay? Ps i dont have covid. Yes i tested negative and i feel bad for the people who couldnt get test and died. But im afraid theres bigger problems ahead. Pps i lost virginity it was horrible and i confided in the wrong person about it. I am not okay If im sposed to be so smart how come im acting so freaking stupid? Im filled with regret and im spiraling what the hell do i do to MAKE IT STOP
Signed: I Am Spiraling. How Do I Make It Stop?

Dear I Am Spiraling. How Do I Make It Stop?,

TeenHealthFX is sorry to hear about what you are going through. Since you mention having a therapist already, we strongly recommend having an open and honest conversation with him/her about how you really feel and what is going on. If you feel that your therapist is not able to help you properly, it may be a good idea to consider finding a new one. Finding a good therapist is like finding the right pair of shoes. Sometimes it takes trying a few before you find the right fit.

If you live in Northern New Jersey and need help finding a therapist, you can call the Access Center for Atlantic Behavioral Health at 888-247-1400.

If you need immediate assistance, call 911 or call the Northern New Jersey crisis hotline from Morristown Medical Center at 973-540-0100.

If you do not live in New Jersey, you can text the Crisis Text Line by Texting HOME to 741741 to connect with a Crisis Counselor or check out our national mental health resource page.

Signed: TeenHealthFX